Life is like seasons. Seasons which are felt differently but still in sequence. Seasons of our perceptions, hardships, joys felt by our senses. Seasons change and so do the memories that fade away with it. The blazing sun gives way to pattering manna falling from the skies which is soon laden with a carpet of sunlit leaves, breaking and simmering in the winds of winter that follow it. The snow covered boulders make way for the first bloom of spring when the blazing sun scorches in all its might. Such is nature’s clockwork and such is our plight! Spectators of fleeting seasons and fading memories.
I remember the seasons. I remember the blooming roses behind our picket fence that year. The climbers hung from all parts of the house like rich ornaments on your forehead. The world seemed rosy, covered by a sea of green and the radiance of your crimson cheeks, you would sit on the stairs staring at the windy sky after night fall. The wind blew the cascade of hair in my face while you tried to hold them back. l could notice your hands shivering and trembling in the candlelight while you tried to reach for them. the darkness of the night broken by the light made you scarcely recognisable that night. I stared at you all the night without you noticing it. Your eyes were unmistakably beautiful as they glistened like emeralds in the candlelight, your clothes hung loosely on your withered breasts covering the torn pieces that remained of you. The candlelight across the dark room creating gigantic impressions of us sitting together by the window as the winds stop blowing and the drops of the perspiration on your forehead started glowing till one last gush blew away the candle, plunging the room in an unknown well of darkness. The Midsummers night had ended and so had your purgation. The time for the seasons to change had come.

Sun blazed in all its might over the crescent of the silver lagoon. You stood by the lagoon with your fishing rod, hoping to find a catch. I still remember the brown hat you wore that summer afternoon, to hide your hair so that I wouldn’t notice the change, notice the patches of your hair breaking away, revealing the imperfections you thought you had.
I remember holding your frail child-like hands, feeling the ridges of your wrinkled hands, reminding me of what lay ahead. I knew what lay ahead, another union in another place, where I could wish for that blissful permanence for eternity. The eternity
seemed like seconds back in that summer, where l would capture you in my film rolls and store you forever in the reels of remembrance so serve me longer man my memory. You stood on your legs the last time that afternoon. Raindrops fell from the cloud and scattered myriad colour just like the stains on your body. Another phase had been reached, another season had changed.

You held my hands while l wheeled you down to the ocean. The skies above were darker than the usual monsoon sky as if heaven was trying to shelter you from the cosmic flares above it but who came forward to save you from the inside? As the skies washed away the sins of the Earth it gave you and me, our eternity in that season of sorrow. I remember how you clapped when your wheel chaired legs felt the sand and the sea. Your feet glistened in the sand as if studded with diamonds.
That season, you looked like a mermaid, shackled to the remnants of her body, ready to break free from the world with a dive in the sea. I sat down beside my Mermaid on that rainy evening, and clasped her cheeks and caressed them as a tear drop fell to the ground. I remember how you played with my hair before falling asleep in my arms while I dried your wet tresses for the last time.

Raindrops fell from the skies from the bosom of clouds, teardrops fell from my heart as it bled for you. Your gossamer like hair flew in the winds that felt colder and I knew I had to take you back. Our impermanent eternity was over, for the Winter had come.

Winter had come and with it had come the time for you to go. With the blink of an eye, you were gone. I wanted to fight every god and demon in rage because they had taken the essence of my life, rendering it meaningless. I remember that snowy morning when the burial took place. You were lowered in a large casket in the earth to lie there for the rest of your life and grow beyond your suffering. The winds of winter had come like a fang and took you away. But, no season changed and no memory faded. Maybe because your wings were ready and my heart was not.





Life as an individual

It often happens that certain circumstances change our perception towards a certain thing.
Humans are social animals but the amount of influence that a certain thing in the society or family has on that human as an individual is again upon him/her.
According, to me everybody has emotions. Some display and some hold it back deep within. There is no such thing, that a certain individual has more or fewer emotions than the other.
Emotions should be dealt with, very carefully. Sometimes our emotions take an upper hand in our ability of logic & reasoning.
I have seen relationships break due to emotions.
It is often very important to separate a certain relation we have with a person to the emotion we hold for him/her.
A real life example that I have seen myself is one which will make you rethink about, are your emotions are a reason for your relationships downfall?
It all began when everybody was overwhelmed to hear these words, “They are husband and wife hereafter. “
As they walked out of the church, all they could hear was “Oh! Now that is a perfect couple.”
A year later the couple was blessed with an angel.
At the hospital, the man, who’s a father now, takes his daughter in his arm and cries out in joy, “You are a blessing baby, you light up my world.”
What a feeling isn’t it when that one person makes you feel happy and makes you realize that sense of responsibility you hold towards him/her. It was the same that day, he had a thousand emotions towards that one relation. He named his daughter Kiara.
Years passed, now Kiara was a big girl. She now had the sense and ability to understand and decide things on her own.
Her parents were going through a bad phase in their marriage.
They used to fight with each other every day.
During this period her mother used to tell all she felt to Kiara.
Whereas her father kept her away from what he felt, Kiara now started misunderstanding her father’s silence. She thought all the problems were caused because of her father.
But maybe she should have spoken to him once? Maybe it wasn’t his fault? According to me, every person has his/her version of the truth, before deciding something we should hear both the sides of a story. We usually do not do this but think about it, what if it saves a relationship? Why do we mix up one relationship with another?
Kiara had been hearing her mother since the last 10  months now. She was totally fed up and had an emotion of hatred towards her father.
It was one of those sulky August evenings and her parents were again fighting over something. She felt disgusted and without even thinking logically she went up to her father and screamed out in anger, “Father I hate you! You are responsible for all our unhappiness.”
She slammed the door and went away; She never spoke to him again.
It’s her father’s Funeral today…
She sit’s by the window sill and tears roll down her cheeks.
A box in her hands with a lot of papers…
Re-think Papers or Emotions or the long-lost father daughter relationship…?
Those hundreds of papers contained a thousand emotions which Kiara’s father had kept within himself; For her father, she was the reason to go on in life…maybe writing down all his emotions that his father had for Kiara was his punishment, more than he deserved.
Give it a thought…Why can’t we be INDIVIDUALS?

Delhi – The pampered capital

Sans all the criticism and take my words Delhi will teach you how to love and live the urban culture while you embrace the roots.

The four years that I have been in this city, only thing that has been constant is the city being criticised for being an unsafe and unruly city. Sans all the criticism and take my words Delhi will teach you how to love and live the urban culture while you embrace the roots.
If you have loved the city ever you will know the feeling. Have you ever wondered while your trip to Connaught place that where else will you find a modern commercial and financial hub enveloped in a showpiece heritage structure of Lutyen’s era?

dilli p

If you look at the recorded history the city has been built, destroyed and rebuilt several times. The most unique feature that you will come across is despite it being one of the most urban city of India it still manages to carry with it the elegance of it’s past.

Trust me when I say it is the only place which can deal with your homesickness because Delhi is love from all over the country served in a single platter. Be it in terms of food, culture or anything else.

I myself am a Bengali who was born and brought up in the city of Nawab’s Lucknow. So basically both the Bengali as well as the Nawabi culture and food is very dear to me. The picturesque view of the Jama Masjid and the street food of Chandani chowk reminds me of Lucknow. On the other hand the Chittaranjan park always made sure that I had the most delicious dates with the Bengali cuisine.

Tell me if you find a city which gives you the “Sansad ki rahien lena” feels while you drive your way through the various embassies towards the Rastrapati Bhawan. Or the “Dilli 6” feels when you see the various heritage structures. What else could a city offer you than starting your day at a local chole bhature corner and then shop your heart out at one of the local markets followed by a play at the Siri fort. And if at all you are a party person then your day just doesn’t end hear coz Delhi also boasts of it’s night life. After all this if you still haven’t called it a day then land up at the Moolchand parathe waala which is one of my personal favorites.

So the next time that you are in the city try and discover the part of Delhi that makes you feel like home.